Do Men Get A Rough Deal?

Before we get into this, I am talking about how women respond to men when men show emotion. Okay I can already hear shouts of “traitor!” and feel the stabs of pain as someone takes strikes at me through a Voodoo doll! Yes I know it’s not all women, but come on ladies be honest, sometimes we are downright awful! Men are human, they should to be able to acknowledge emotional hurt and express this without being ridiculed or made to feel lesser than. When they turn to us for a shoulder to cry on, we should offer up said shoulder, not shoulder barge them out the way as you whisk yourself out the room muttering “I’m not dealing with this”. From my perspective women definitely have a part to play in discouraging men from sharing their feelings and we definitely confuse matters.
 
As women we are brought up to believe when we find a man he’ll be strong, he’ll protect and defend us. But what about feelings? We want men to put that comforting arm around us and wipe our tears away. We want them to be considerate, we want them to be kind. Especially when we are upset. Now let’s think how some women respond when men look for the same. Do you give your man that look of contempt when his tears appear? Do you think he’s weak? Do you question his masculinity? Do you start to think you’ve not signed up for this and develop a lesser opinion of him? I wonder how many women when going through some sort of emotional episode use those three words, “he doesn’t understand”. Now ladies, the question is, do you understand? Do you understand how hard it can be for men to open up when all around it is drummed into them to do the complete opposite? Being supportive and understanding offers connection, ways to deepen your relationship. Surely that is important, it is a partnership after all. If your response is negative, then your partner is hardly going to consider you their go-to person. So sit back to reflect before you get offended and uppity. It’s devastating to feel lonely in a relationship. So when you ask your man what is wrong and he’s not sharing any offering, consider how you have responded in the past. You may have shut him down and induced feelings of hurt, shame or inadequacy. It can be destructive to your relationship, even driving you apart. Surely you don’t want that.
 
Ladies don’t you feel sometimes you can be wearing a mask, keeping things in and painting on a smile so others can’t see what is happening inside. That awful struggle and conflict. Well that can happen to men too. While we’re given carte blanche when it comes to emotions, men are not. I know there are women who also struggle to share, but ultimately when it comes to expressing feelings the door is open for us. Men are under immense pressure to keep it all in, an intrinsic part of being a man, because that’s a societal expectation, and it could have even started with their mothers. Carrying that build up of stress and emotion, eventually something has to give. As we are aware there can be dire consequences. Although men’s mental health is getting more airspace, there is still a way to go. I say again, men are human. Let your man know you’re there for him, don’t push and interrogate. As women we need to listen, show patience, encourage and support. We also need to consider our position towards males as mothers, mother-in-laws, sisters, sister-in-laws, friends and colleagues. You get my drift.