That Four Letter Word….

​What is the meaning of that four letter word? It’s the word you long to hear when you think you’ve found ‘the one’. Yes that word is love, which I’ve decided stands for………. Lots Of Validation Externally or Lustful Obsession Vulnerability Expectation. A word at times I hate. It’s not like there is anything necessarily wrong with the word, it’s what it means. What it means has different interpretations. What is love? The definition in the Oxford Dictionary; a very strong feeling of affection. A strong feeling of affection linked to sexual attraction. A great interest and pleasure in something. A person or thing that you love. (In tennis, squash, etc.) a score of zero. Wow how apt, definitely a score of zero if you don’t express the words “I love you” when your other half expects you to! How can such a small word be so big, that it holds so much weight and has such a profound impact? A seemingly benign expression, that can be wielded like a weapon, a cause of woe and undoing. Going from warm and fuzzy to devastation and destruction. It can be used to manipulate, it can make or break. It is a word that can be exposing and make you feel vulnerable, connected or disconnected. It’s a word that can control and take your senses, “if you really love me you’ll…..”. It’s also a word that can make you feel full of worth, wanted, wonderful; it’s affirming. Maybe that is why I struggle with the concept of the word, it can turn, it’s on the edge, it’s close to the line. It can induce shame and humiliation in an instant. It can turn friends into enemies, lovers to haters.
 
For some saying the word comes easily, for others not so much (I’m in the latter obviously), which can become an issue due to the expectation of if it’s said, it needs to be said back. Does speaking it add gravitas to the authenticity - I think not - but I suppose it depends on the individual. There are folk who show love in their actions, in a look, in the way they are, what they say and how they say it. You can feel it. Yet they never have that word pass their lips.
 
The word causes so much angst. What does it mean? There are people who associate love with the showering of material goods. There are some who see love as the cup of tea their other half brings to their bedside each morning. The meaning of the word love brings expectations which aren’t necessarily the same as your other half’s. Those expectations can mean having to say the words “I love you” to your partner not just every day, but numerous times a day. Is that necessary? Does it then just become a phrase that is reeled off unthinkingly? By that point the declaration has usually gone to “love you” not even carrying the personalisation and sentiment of the preceding “I”. Removing the I is like removing yourself, removing the meaning, taking the depth and heart away. To me if you’re going to say it authentically, say the whole three words!